Actual questions from real people:
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Question:Who founded and publishes The National Daily?
Answer: It's most likely one of the following—
A) A former world-class fixer.
B) The world's greatest living musical talent.
C) The funniest comedian and writer in the Universe.
D) All of the above.
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Question: Aren't you concerned that you'll offend a lot of people who might read your content?
Answer: More hopeful than concerned.
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Question: How do you guys come up with this crap?
Answer: Psylocybin, morning prayer and psychic intervention.
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If you think the story behind The National Daily begins with a brilliant and mysterious wunderkind from a strange and distant land then you might be correct. Then again, can you really believe anything you read here?
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Some people truly appear bothered by satire and those brave few among our bewildered herd—as Walter Lippman liked to the general public—who "try to be funny" at a time when the media have been flooded with fake news, reinforcing superficial talking points, narcissisim and materialism. We here at The National Daily couldn't agree more.
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Unfortunately, some people have always walked around with broomsticks too far up their heinies and never seem to get the joke or much less, aren't even able to laugh at the finer things in life—like hemorrhoid bracelets or syphilis—the way that most everyone else can. This is why The National Daily spotlights actual news stories to point out the ridiculous nature of humanity at a time when very little seems to make sense for the vast majority of us.
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Through laughter and a little discomfort, we strive to inspire the consumer majority to question all the agenda-driven information disseminated on a daily basis that is promoted as "newsworthy" by a corporate minority. We, like many in this world, hope to inspire positive change, though we choose to accomplish this in a slightly different way.
Therefore, do your part and support a truly free and American institution that tries really hard to help us all maintain a lighter perspective on the sometimes darker nature of our humanity. Consider your patronage a vote of encouragement for us all to continue our reflection on the ridiculous nature of what we collectively call "reality"—that we might never cease to question our own behavior and perception of the importance we place on our "causes", agendas and ourselves, in general.
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In short, when it comes down to it, we realize that none of us here at The Daily or on Planet Earth are that individually important nor is humanity the center of the known Universe. We need to get over ourselves and laugh at the madness humanity creates and perpetuates on a daily basis. For as long as mankind's media keep cranking out superficial and mindless bundles of information considered to be "important" and "newsworthy", then we here at The National Daily will continue to report on it as only we think we know how.
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So be part of the Big Picture and support an institution dedicated to the liberation of the human mind and heart from the shackles of the false importance we place on ourselves and the overall illusion of life. Laugh with us and set aside your differences for a few moments each day. We here at The National Daily are convinced you'll be all the better for it.
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